Seems like I have dug a hole long enough.

I had an interview at Suburban Mazda for a salesperson job on Tuesday. It was one of two days they were conducting an open interview schedule. My resume was selected off Monster because he's had good experience with IT people selling cars. I didn't go Monday because it was such a mess with rain I just couldn't get there on a bike and look presentable. Tuesday I got dressed in black pants, blue shirt, tie and hopped on the bike late in the afternoon. I ended up being his last interview at 5pm.

I blew the interview I guess. I let him know ...

• I had no car
• I was terminated from BCBSM related to sleep apnea - being late and sleeping
• I have a doctor's note recommending that I don't drive
• I said I would do well with an active job that had me moving around rather than sitting at a desk
• In five years I saw myself travelling and taking photos - his deisred answer was my embracing a new career as a car salesman
• That I've been unemployed too long, rode there on my bike and had no money left - hungry for a job. I'm serious about no money left - under $10 in my pocket and all bank accounts at $0 or less.

We had good comfortable talk during the interview. I wasn't nervous at all. But I guess revealing all the areas where life isn't working at the moment really left him feeling like I wasn't winning my game. This kind of sucks because that's what I seem to show up as in life at the moment ... broken and not seeing a way out of it. That doesn't work as a starting point for a winning salesman I guess.

I wish I'd just get a break into shooting fashion photos for a store, creating advertising and websites for a company. I'd even love to work as a wedding photographer's assistant. I guess I haven't let my desires be known far and wide enough. I was talking with Fred yesterday and he asked if I have a job coach. I had to tell him no and he asked if I was at a loss of power. I had to admit yes I was. So I need to give up being out of communication and hiding out when I've got problems. Sorry - I guess I just know myself too well... when I got problems I hide out.

Mike wants to have a serious talk about money, job and situation this weekend. I wonder if he and Lesia are looking to move out - that would devestate me. I would have to clean everything out of the house fast and sell it. I don't have a clue where I'd end up.

I guess this weekend I'll head over to Trader Joes and submit my 'overdue' application to work there. I'll scope out other locations along the way too. Maybe a video store, grocery store, anything that promises a bit of money would work.

Once I get a bit of money together maybe I can print and frame a few photos to go for sale in a couple galleries. Just before Memorial Day the art/craft store on Woodward at the corner was going out of business. I could have bought frames at 50% off or better, but I had no money. :( I think I saw another store like this going out of business in Ferndale on Woodward. Maybe I can find a partner that would buy frames and split proceeds to reimburse cost of frames plus some of the profit. I've got a couple good gallery leads to pursue.